you stood there
unaware
of his selfish air
his obvious inability to care.
what a hollow, cold stare.
some say life is not fair -
but that's not it...
you just have to keep your eyes open.
unaware
chico vacation
a few days ago i took a mini vacation up north to chico to visit a good friend. we spent the weekend talking about life, playing basketball, playing music (and recording drum samples), eating good food, watching movies (batman begins was surprisingly good), relaxing in the creek at the park and exploring table mountain in butte county. it was probably the most relaxed i have been in a long time and i really enjoyed myself. it was both happy and sad to see some familiar places that i have alot of memories attached to, but these are the pieces of me and i'm glad they exist. see some photos of the trip in the photo gallery.
howl's moving castle & mia
last night i saw "howl's moving castle" and i was so impressed. the animation, design and production quality was incredible and i loved the music as well. alot of it actually matched how i pictured everything while reading the book which was kind of comforting in a way. of course there was alot of trademark miyazaki spice added, and they kept the focus on the characters at the studio ghibli level. i guess the only gripe was the ultra-quick wrap up at the end... it felt very weird and forced. i also wish that the magic boots that let you move miles in a few steps were in there... i was looking forward to how they would handle that, but it never came up. all in all i loved it... i can't wait to watch it in japanese - the english dubbing was a little dry but mostly good.
more good music... check out M.I.A. - she's got refreshing beats and a cool vocal style. and her lyrics are relevant.
amoebas
i want to look like a model so that i can attract the type of women who are attracted to men who look like models.
i want to have a pretty girlfriend so other men will know that i am capable of having a pretty girlfriend, and other pretty women will know that i am a good man to be with. i want to hold hands with her so that other people can witness the strength of our relationship. i want to tell her that i love her, because only then will she understand. we will have lots of passionate sex in strange places, and tell people that we have had lots of passionate sex in strange places.
i may cheat on her because it is exciting and i am incapable of realizing her importance to me when the situation becomes too passionate. i am well aware of the fact that the grass is greener, so i must seek out this grass. if she decides to break up with me, i will find another partner fast so i can fill that hole. or fill both holes for that matter. i judge people on what they say, not what they actually do.
we will get older and tire of each other and divorce.
i want to travel the world because only then will i be able to discover who it is that i am and what is important to me. i am incapable of knowing this kind of information on my own. only through foreign enlightenment can i hope to be complete. the location in which i grew up cannot possibly be a place for me to know this.
i would like to have romantic episodes with exotic women on these travels, for these would make great stories later.
i want to go to church so that i will be saved and go to heaven. it is very important to god that i attend at the regularly scheduled time. i think that if i put money in the basket, i will even have a better chance. it is also important that other families attending church notice that i put money in the basket, so that i will be judged well by them. i will point out to my religious friends that i actively go to church, read my holy book and pray regularly so i can stay in the club.
some people are not religious and i imagine that they cannot possibly be good people. i guess they can be a little good, but they cannot possibly be saved.
i will support my country's military because we need to protect ourselves and our way of life from the evil that exists outside our borders. it is wrong for them to try and impose their beliefs and infect our lives. we must use force to make them understand this.
i will try different kinds of drugs once in a while because sometimes that is the only way to enjoy certain situations. i am not comfortable with myself enough to enjoy these situations in my current state of mind. i think i need to alter my perception of reality, for then i will enjoy it more even though i will remember it less. i will make sure to describe my experiences to my friends so they will know that i am willing to try things and am adventurous. after all i may like it, so why not try it? i am thoroughly in control of myself and i will not get addicted, even if i like it.
i will raise my children well. they will go to good schools and be taught how to think and behave and what to believe. they will grow up and get good jobs and have nice families and i will tell my friends about my kids and their good jobs and nice families.
we will watch our favorite television programs at their regular times. i will censor adult material from my kids because they should not learn this stuff from television. only adults are mature enough to enjoy this type of material and not go out and behave that way in the real world. i will allow my kids to play video games, but censor violent games from them because these games make children go out and kill people in the real world. if they want to kill people, i will encourage military service because then at least it will be for the proper reasons.
i will grow old and die and wonder what it was all about.
-----
treat your friends with respect. love them and don't hurt them. treat your friends' friends with respect as well, and the relationships they have with those friends. this is the essence and value of life.
bug eyes
speaking of music videos, check out dredg's new video for 'bug eyes' off the new album 'catch without arms.' though their previous videos have been a little more creative (in my eyes), i've watched this a few times and i think they've captured what dredg 'feels like' pretty well. its good to hear them again, and i must say the lyrics from 'catch' seem to resonate with me pretty heavily so far.
