this weekend carried a personal trial. one of my favorite lessons is 'the hardest thing to do is usually the right thing to do,' and for me the hardest thing to do was share a moment with a ghost. for a moment i thought maybe i could act content, candid, past-forgotten, "mature." but to me maturity is honesty, and i was honestly broken, betrayed. i cannot act. it seems that everyone has had the same advice - to forget; its in the past; ignore and move on. to me, this is dishonesty with oneself. i have difficulty with dates, street names, places, formalities and tradition. but when it comes to the heart - i never forget. and to me, this is not a weakness but a strength. i left the moment ultimately reminded of an unhealthy relationship that left the heart bruised, of what we both truly lost, and of what i am truly searching for. that is alot of "to me's"; this is survival. still... i was refreshed.
dave and twi, your love inspires:
my head was spinning and i had to clear it. there is nothing better than some true comrades, art and goofing off at, ironically, the monster show. right now it is raining and thundering, and i love it!
